Exactly one year ago on June 8th, I boarded a flight to Rome, Italy. This June 8th, I will board a flight to Rome. No, I am not some weirdly superstitious person that can only fly to Rome on June 8th. It all happened by coincidence, except this time, I hope and know, my mindset, goals, and experiences will be the antithesis of before.
I often refrain from getting too personal on this site. I do not think everyone wants to know what I ate for breakfast or what my middle name is. If you do, drop me an email. I would be happy to shell out the dirty details on what falls in my cereal bowl. I guess today I am going a little personal as I see it as a story of importance to travelers in search of direction.
Last June, I landed in Rome, mistakenly missed my train, boarded another train 30 minutes and 50 euros later, and arrived in Florence. While I am hoping to not repeat my Italian train mishap, much of that story begins as my trip will in less than two weeks. I had agreed to be an au pair to a 14-year-old girl in a minuscule town outside of Bologna. I would live in Italy rent free, teaching English a few hours a day. It sounded easy enough, while at the same time allowing me to live in Italy for the summer. I decided to stay a few days in my former home of Florence before heading to my “job”. Florence was familiar. Florence was comforting.
Almost like baby stepping into living in a household peppered with unknowns and doing something I wasn’t 100% sold, I finally took the leap and checked in to prison. I arrived to a hallway as my room. There were no doors for privacy and it functioned as a passageway to two rooms. Yes, that is the definition of a hallway. The lukewarm welcome from the family only made everything worse, as each day they went about their business as though I never arrived. The boonies of Italy surrounded me. So many romanticize about the idea of living in the Italian countryside. While there are beautiful parts to Italy, this was not one of them. I was stuck in the middle of nowhere, without privacy, without anything to do, without any sort of communication with the outside world, and with the sinking feeling I was incredibly lost.
Out in the middle of nowhere in Italy
I have always known what I wanted. Sure, I floundered a bit in kindergarten when I wanted to be a bus driver, but I always sought to travel and share my experiences to a larger audience. I took the au pair job mainly to be in Italy, a country I adored since my first visit. I can pinpoint the moment I fell in love with Italy at the Trevi Fountain in Rome. How cliché, I know, but it is a cliché for a reason. As I lapped up gelato, the glow of the fountain water at night and chatter of Italian couples around, hit me like a zap of lightning from the Neptune sculpture perched behind me. I love this, I thought. I threw a coin in the fountain and returned four times in college, studying abroad in various cities around the boot. When it came time to graduate, I knew what I wanted, to go to Italy. The au pair set-up seemed ideal towards my goals, but I was forgetting one small problem. I cannot teach. I can only do.
I have the patience of a 3 year old. I had no passion to teach English, but I wanted to be in Italy. I can only advise others to never sign up for something just as a way to travel. Go into traveling 100% passion filled. If you don’t, like me, I suspect you will flounder. After a few days and a handful of sleepless nights, I left that half villa in Italy. Call me crazy, but it wasn’t Italy to me. I couldn’t just bite my tongue and stick it out. I wouldn’t allow my mistake in forgetting passion to cause me to turn sour on the country I loved so deeply.
My epiphany moment came as I arrived on the doorstep of my former host parents’ residence in Florence, literally homeless and without a plan. Explaining to them the situation and what happened felt like talking to my own parents. They were supportive, understanding, and incredibly giving. They offered me my old room and a glass of cold tea, encouraging me to write under their roof. As I sat on the verge of tears, I realized this was meant to be. Why couldn’t I just start traveling and writing? And so I did.
This June 8, 2010, I will board a flight to Rome, traveling at 100% reading on my passion meter. Frankly, it would not be fair of me to cheat travel, going at 50% without packing that passion and purpose. Forgive me travel and Italy. I will never put you two in that position again.
Have you chosen some way without full passion and quickly changed direction? Have you ever fallen into some negative situation just so you could travel or live in a foreign land?
Great post, Suzy. I appreciate you refraining from sharing your breakfast habits with us, but this post definitely belongs on your blog. I can only imagine how lost you must have felt in that villa hallway – props to you for deciding to leave. I trust your upcoming visit will be far more enjoyable.
I’m not sure I’ve fallen unknowingly into negative situations in a foreign lands, but by nature of having done most of my travels on a working holiday, I’ve taken some sub par jobs just to support my travels. I’m in one now. Yet I’m working with the realization that I’ve had a hell of a two months on the road, and some great traveling to look forward to in the future.
Yes yes yes. Great reminder. Passion is the most important thing we must pack. That’s why it’s so important to understand your motivations to travel, so that you’re swinging at the right pitches. Excellent post!
Love the article Suzy. I think it’s very admirable that you left that situation. I’ve had experience living with families abroad and nothing can be harder than confronting them about something, let alone changing the situation. It’s great you are pursuing your dreams right from the start. There’s no better way to be traveling at 100% like when you’re headed to your favorite country to do what you love to do. Enjoy your travels!
Well said. I’ve found myself in that position several times, choosing to do something just so I could travel. In the end of course, it’s not as fulfilling if your heart’s not into it. Looking forward to your upcoming travels through Italy. And btw, tomorrow’s post of mine has a photo of the Trevi Fountain too!
This post has soul!
Thank you for sharing. I have thought about teaching English as a way to travel. The only thing keeping me at bay is that I cannot stand kids (I’m sure it would be diff if they were my own) and the thought of trying to communicate with them while having a language barrier is frightening.
Passion, however, is something that I’m good at. While there are both pros and cons to it, I agree wholeheartedly that it should be a main focus during an adventure. <3
This is such a great post. I struggle too about how personal I should get on my blog, but honestly I think the best posts are when you get personal. People can REALLY connect with you then, just like I did on this post. I’m so happy you left that prison and returned to Florence! I wish you nothing but the most AMAZING trip back to Italy. 🙂
That was an interesting post. At least you learned a lot from the experience.
Well said. I won’t be looking for work for another few months, but I’m already scoping out places I’d ENJOY working. I know beggars can’t be choosers on the visa I have, but there are several Americans and Canadians I’ve met with fun jobs they enjoy, all on the same visa. I’m determined to find something I’ll love too.
It can be hard when going to a foreign country, I remember going to Amsterdam to work and being stuck in a flat with a bizarre polish guy for 3 months feeling like i’d made a big mistake.Looking back now it’s a funny story and I laugh about it and it’s all good.Wasn’t much fun at the time though
Love the article Suzy. I think it’s very admirable that you left that situation. I’ve had experience living with families abroad and nothing can be harder than confronting them about something, let alone changing the situation. It’s great you are pursuing your dreams right from the start. There’s no better way to be traveling at 100% like when you’re headed to your favorite country to do what you love to do. Enjoy your travels!
+1
Such a great story!! Loved reading it, thanks! If you don’t like your situation, change it. Only you can change your own life and your own situation. Never be afraid to change your mind and do something else!
You and I have more in common than I thought! My au pair story is nearly the same – the only difference being that I stayed on with them. It eventually worked out, but it was nothing like I thought it’d be.
Anyway, great post. I love your honesty and courage to do what was best for you.
Such a great story Suzy! I’m sure this summer will be much better now that you know what you want out of it.
Great post, and this is something that should be obvious when traveling, but rarely is. When we were on our RTW and in SE Asia, we spent some time in Laos. We heard so many great things and had such high hopes for it, and we just didn’t really like it. We tried, and we stayed for a few weeks, and we were going to stay the whole month, but we just weren’t feeling it. It took us several days of agonizing on what to do before we just cut our ties and went back into Thailand for a while. For some reason, we just didn’t feel passionate about Laos, but we stayed anyway just because we felt this sort of weird guilt. Then we realized how ridiculous that was. We were on the trip of a lifetime, and if we weren’t feeling a place, we had the freedom to move on. Not many people get that freedom when traveling, so we should have felt lucky instead of burdened. It’s an interesting thing to think about.
Enjoyed this bit of wonderment.
The fight to keep the passion in things on the travel front seems to be an on-going battle for me, even when the towns are different. I just have to fight for it.
Ok, well, things like Rome for just one example. A city I dearly love.
(ah to hang at night at the Trevi-fountain again with fine wines, a lovely gal and some gourmet chocolates)
But how do you get the passion for a new visit (mine was ages ago)and over-come fears that there is NO way to top the awesomeness of the last one. To me the passion-fight these days is not so much working with the unknowns and the wrong-turns at Albuquerque as it is “keeping the new in things”.
A travel writer is born! That is a great story, Suzy. Well, except for the painful hallway owned by a lukewarm family part. I would have fled from that too, I am sure. How could anyone stand it? I am sure your time in Italy this year will be beautiful and fun.
While I appreciate that you don’t share what you ate today with us, I’m so glad you shared this story. It’s a wonderful life lesson made more meaningful because it’s a personal story. I had something similar happen to me once–I accepted a job when I was 19, sight unseen, that would have me living at the place of employment in a new town for over a month. I had 2 friends who were already working there and they raved about the place. I arrived and HATED it. I couldn’t even stay a day. I felt HORRIBLE for leaving the employer (and my friends) in the lurch like that, but I just knew I’d be miserable there. Your story brought that memory back to me vividly.
Wishing you safe travels and more amazing adventures that you can imagine! Can’t wait to read about all your experiences and see Italy through your posts and pictures! No more living in hallways in order to pursue your passion!
Hey… I loved your post. I’m sorry about what happened and I understand your feeling (NYC was my prison instead! but this is another story)
I’m Italian and I feel sorry! Hope u come back soon and forget that sad experience 🙂 I hope you’ll find lovely people next time:)