With a heavy southern accent, an older man approaches me at the airport. “I’m going to follow you little lady because I don’t know where I’m going. I can’t hear the announcements.” I laugh and say I will alert him when the plane starts to board. My flight on the eve of New Year’s Eve is set to go out in Denver’s first blizzard of the winter. The airline employees keep doing a song and dance of “let’s board, then let’s not.” I can see why the man was confused.
Once boarding is called, I motion my friend traveling solo it’s time to get on the plane. He shuffles behind me like some child that doesn’t want to be left behind. I probably won’t see that man again, confused and traveling solo. However, I didn’t realize just how similar we were. Solo travel is scary. It is something that can be confusing. There isn’t someone there you know and can lean on. You are, in essence, alone.
I’m sitting in front of the computer back at home, circling the purchase button on a flight to Ireland. The old Arkansas retiree keeps popping into my mind. I guess I am somewhat of a solo travel fraud. A solo travel fraud, to me, is someone that has traveled alone here and there, but never really for major trips. While I have traveled alone, no extended trip has ever been completely devoid of familiarity. This past summer, I made my way to live in Florence, Italy, a town I know well after studying there some years ago. I also had two host parents I could stop in and visit if I ever felt alone. I speak the language. I understand the cultural confusions and norms. I also had a steady stream of visitors from home, friends and family stopping by for weeks at a time I could travel with outside of Florence.
When I studied abroad in Sicily, twice, while I was alone, there were program schedules to follow, organized routines and plans. There was that element of unknown and being on my own, but in a school setting you are always surrounded by others going through the same thing as you.
This time, I would actually be going it alone, no plans or routines. I was drawn to Ireland for some reason as my next trip. Sure, I have been before, but not since I was 14 years old. I want to see the changes in the country and most importantly the changes in myself. I would love to visit relatives again and also experience parts of the country I didn’t before. I know Ireland isn’t some crazy destination. I’m not venturing into Angola alone or anything. My solo travel hesitation probably shouldn’t be there, but it is.
I am still circling that purchase button, a little hesitant, a little unsure of making the commitment with no other plans besides a plane ticket in and out of the country. I am not a hostel person. The idea of couchsurfing horrifies me. I could be just on my own with little conversations here and there. I often say I don’t think solo travel needs to be a giant opportunity to make friends around the world. Drinking with backpackers isn’t my idea of a cultural experience. It is great to meet people, but I think I want to meet the country first and foremost.
I may be a solo travel fraud, but eventually I will click purchase and make the leap. It is something I must do for my job and something I want to do. I suspect the plans will then fall into place, the unknowns will turn into the familiar, because simply, they have to. I just have to keep remembering the old man from Arkansas and his bravery traveling solo, his ease of coming up to a stranger and asking for help. If he can travel alone at 70, surely I can go it alone at 23.
Are you a solo travel fraud? How do you overcome that initial worry and hesitation to go it alone?
I feel like a solo fraud too. I went on a solo trip this summer and went with a tour, where I knew I would meet people. And then I met a boy and was no longer alone. It didn’t feel too solo to me.
Hi Suzy! What a great post. I am not a solo travel fraud but I felt the same hesitation a few months ago when I did an 8-day trip to Portugal solo. I had to do the trip because of visa issues and I actually had a fantastic time! I spent 5 days at a surf camp in Ericeira and made some really amazing friends. And while dining alone in Lisbon, another solo female traveler stopped to ask me if she could join me and we ended up being dinner buddies. We still correspond until now. So I would definitely encourage you to click that button! Just exercise caution, as always, and trust your gut when choosing who to hang with. Have fun!
I empathize. I wrestle a lot between going to Ireland and Montreal (both of which I know and love) and heading for places I am unfamiliar with (Turkey, Spain, and Central America, which I’m lrss familiar with and lack a language advantage. Ultimately, economics and curiosity intersect to make me a more courageous solo traveler (taking public transit and staying in hostels, just so I can see the aya sophia or parc guell, for instance).
For all that, I think I still do not take as many chances as an admirable solo traveler should, but it’s a growing process.
I actually miss travelling alone at times, now that I plan most holidays with my partner. We still occasionally decide to venture out of our accommodation alone to meet at a later stage in the day. It’s an opportunity to make friends, much easier if you’re on your own.
I do both. Solo and non solo. Heaven help me, but I love it. I like kinds of friendships the develop. In the hours or days when you might not be speaking to anyone in your own language, you are carving out quiet sanctuaries in your mind. You are somewhat dependent upon the kindness of strangers 100 percent of the time. That’s good for the soul because it reminds you to give back.
Good post, remember my first solo trip. There are steps to go through, First of course to book a flight. Then to actually get on the plane. For me all worries were lost when I finally arrived. People are essential helpful and keen to help. Since that I have traveled alone plenty and strangers have more than ones invited me for a dinner even a place to sleep from time to time.
I wouldn’t degrade your solo travel experiences. There aren’t entry requirements to be labeled a solo traveler. You are a bonafide solo traveler.
Having just troubled alone through Argentina for a month, I can empathize with your fears. It IS tough and I don’t know if it gets any easier. CouchSurfing has its ups and downs 🙂
First of all, you’re only 23? I would have placed you older! Second, I found after my first stint at solo travel that it’s much harder to ACTUALLY travel solo than you’d expect. You’re always meeting likeminded travelers, bloggers, and backpackers on the road. Traveling solo isn’t easy, only because it’s hard to literally travel solo without meeting others!
Agreed! While studying abroad in Argentina I took a trip to Chile, I left from Mendoza for Santiago and after crossing the Andes on a little bus I was no longer alone, all of the people on the bus were chatting and getting to know each other! Then, Leaving Santiago for Valparaiso, the girl seated next to me on the bus turned out to be my age and we were able to meet up and hang out! She even introduced me to her friends! The man who ran the hostel even invited his grandmother over for breakfast , and we ate together! I was traveling solo, but I was far from being alone! I loved it, I wouldn’t have met so many cool people if I already had a travel buddy.
I don’t think you’re a fraud if you’re going alone and spending significant chunks of time alone. So what if there are people there you can meet up with once in awhile? Many solo travelers do that. So what if you meet new people while you’re there, become friends, and decide to spend time with them? That’s what a lot of solo travelers hope for! As Matt said, it’s hard to truly be solo all the time on a solo trip (unless you’re completely antisocial). And it’s perfectly okay to be nervous about taking a big solo trip. Just don’t let the nerves stop you.
Psh, who says you have to travel solo anyway? It’s great, but it isn’t necessary.
Funny, I was also looking at flights to Ireland earlier. 🙂 And was horrified by how much everything cost with taxes in…:( But I hope to be there for 2-4 weeks in April. Book your flight for then! Can you imagine two redheaded lassies in Ireland?! It’s like our birthplace!!
I like to travel alone, but I’ve always been a bit of a loner. However I’ve never really taken a long trip by myself. Sure I went to London, but that was for a few days before meeting up with a Contiki tour. And I went to NYC alone, but I’d been there before and felt pretty comfortable around the city. I travel solo because I don’t think I could stand traveling with the same person(s) for longer than a few days. Sometimes you have to start small, pick a city and just spend a couple days by yourself. And if you meet other travelers and decide to spend some time together, there’s no crime in that.
Hi Suzy, I think you are very brave despite you are calling yourself travel solo fraud. Sure my traveling mode is more mysterious than yours, but I’m not doing it solo, I’m with my husband. Having a traveling companion makes it much easier I think. So, keep it up! You are a brave girl 🙂
I’ll be heading out on a solo adventure soon too. I’m going to Guatemala for a four week language program. My husband is staying behind in the U.S. and/or traveling by himself somewhere else. I’m excited, but also pretty anxious.
I’ve read your hesitations about CouchSurfing before, but I really think you’d like it if you find the right host. We have ended up with some great cultural exchanges, cooking together, teaching each other our native languages, etc. We’ve hosted plenty of single women who said they’ve never had a bad experience. You just have to be picky!
Good luck on you Irish adventure!
There are usually only two scary moments during solo travel — for me, at least — and the first is actually clicking the button to buy the ticket. The second scary part is arriving alone at the airport. Every single time I disembark from a plane by myself, I feel like a lost 12-year-old and I just want to sit down and have a good cry. But then I find a sign in English or someone who can point me in the right direction and I do just fine. I’m sure you’ll do just fine, too, Suzy. I bet you’ll love it.
This is a fascinating post for discussion. However, I travel much like you do so I can’t possibly think of this as solo travel fraud.
Obviously, my days of solo travel are pretty much over now but my best solo travel experience was actually part of a tour a few years ago. After the tour was over, and even during the tour, I wandered by myself into big cities and areas where I wasn’t familiar and had never been. I learned a lot from my experiences.
I remember sitting on top of a mountain in Austria overlooking a valley. I wandered the streets in Paris so far from the tourist areas I could never back there if I tried. I hiked alone over cliffs along the beach in the south or Portugal and wandered upon a nude beach. There are certain things these experiences teach you. It’s not a matter of how “solo” you are but what experiences you have and what travel teaches you when you are on your own.
Take that trip to Ireland and don’t think of yourself as a solo travel fraud. Your experiences, lessons, and moments that you have had (regardless of how familiar they were or how long a trip was) has impacted and transformed your life. And that’s all that matters!
I used to be HORRIFIED of traveling alone but a friend inspired me to try it and ever since I don’t really like traveling with other people – at least not more than a couple of days. The first time I went solo was on a road trip in California. It was AWESOME! If you start traveling for extensive periods of time as a real solo traveler though it gets lonely and that’s another reason I’m glad I’m a couchsurfer.
What you say doesn’t make much sense though: you “like to get to know the country first and foremost” but if you don’t get to know the local people then you’re not really getting to know the country. You might get to “see” the country, the physical country but without knowing the people you’re not getting to know the culture. Kinda defeats the purpose 😉
By saying I want to get to know the country first and foremost, doesn’t mean I want to not interact with locals. My point was that I don’t want the trip to be a giant hang out with backpackers in hostels. That is not my style. I never said I didn’t want to get to know the locals. I am well aware that is a key part of getting to know a place, which is why I lived with Italians in Italy for several months.
I never really thought of myself as a solo traveler. Some people mention that I went to Australia alone to study without knowing anyone (well I did meet one girl from my school beforehand) and there I had a completely different experience, no planned trips, no fellow students. But I was never alone. Here in Italy, I’m not alone either whether or not I had friends at the beginning.
I definitely want to take a major trip alone, backpacking and staying in hostels meeting others (as you said you didn’t want to) but I also want to experience a country the way you are talking about. There is always something preventing me from completely knowing a place, whether it’s being too comfortable too fast or other opinions. It’s definitely something I want to do.
I hope Ireland is all that you are hoping for and I hope to see you there for a few days!
I have to admit, I am not into solo travel. I had a depressing solo weekend getaway in Argentina when I studied abroad (I went off-season to a beach town and stayed in a grimy hotel by myself), and vowed never to do it again! I enjoy visiting friends overseas or traveling with friends and loved ones. Maybe one day I will conquer my aversion to solo travel… we’ll see!
I never thought of myself as a solo traveller, because when I travel for “fun” it’s always with friends, family or my husband (although perhaps he belongs in both of the former categories!)
Yet, looking back over the last year, I realise that because of my job, most of the time I am travelling alone.
I think it’s easier to travel alone if you’re doing it for work purposes – you don’t get involved with any depressing conversations in your head about *why* you’re alone and whether or not that means anything…
What I’m sure you’ll find, Suzy, is that you’ll do it, you’ll cope and then you’ll either hate it and stop doing it or (much more likely) love it and continue.
Have a look at Janice’s site (http://solotravelerblog.com) for a taste of solo travel that doesn’t involve hostels or couchsurfing 😉
Enjoy!
Yes solo travel is a bit scary the first time you’re doing it, but I’ve found it hugely rewarding aswell. I mean you can do anything you want at your own time without relying on the other. Though it could get a bit too lonely if you do it through an extensive period. However I found it easier to interact with locals when you’re on your own. They seem to be more helpful and approachable.
Having just completed a stint volunteering in Nicaragua, I might have to throw myself into the “fraud” category. There were just too many other similar people around to consider myself alone. Now, I did venture off on a few excursions completely alone, and it was pretty liberating. But I am pretty sure I would not want to make a habit of it. And like you, I avoided the backpacker party scene (horrors) and I have not yet ventured into Couchsurfing, and truthfully, I probably never will.
I feel like there is this “thing” in the traveling community that if you have never traveled solo, than you’re not in the big leagues. Which simply isn’t true. So yes, try it, but if it isn’t for you, then who cares? The journey itself is what’s important, not how you do it or who you do it with.