“Are you looking for inspiration?” he said. I nodded as he gave my passport a beating with a green stamp. “Well, good luck.” I wasn’t exactly sure what border control had in mind. Was it a good “good luck” or one more of sarcasm? It quickly didn’t matter as my days in Ireland came and went.
After spending a month in the country traveling solo, I am now a firm believer in taking a trip alone, however big or small. While the customs agent was referring to my occupation as a writer, for me, the inspiration I was looking for was not just for my job but also for myself. Solo travel can only make you face facts about who you are. What you can and can’t do, what you fear and what you suddenly don’t are all tried and tested. I don’t think there is really any other area of life that can give you that sense of not just accomplishment but also inspiration of the self. You are away from all you know. In that not knowing, you figure it out and feel empowered for blurring the lines of foreign and familiar.
Just hanging out all by my lonesome in a prehistoric fort on the Dingle Peninsula
I used to read solo travel articles as a skeptic. Not to say solo travel doesn’t have its negatives, but now I understand this need to travel on your own. You don’t have to go far or for long. I found inspiration for myself and for travel in a number of tiny moments in just one month. While reviewing each and every place and person I encountered, I know I had to find these moments alone.
• A conversation with Noel at Number 31 in Dublin set the tone for my Irish travels. I discovered Irish humility and hospitality in its best form here. Sitting in the famous hotel’s lobby, one of the party places in the 1960s in Dublin, I realized travel and its emotions transcend time. You can be far from home and alone, but there is always someone concerned about you, Noel’s motto in running a hotel.
• Becoming more comfortable driving on the wrong side of the road, I cruised through the Wicklow Mountains. The eerie beauty of Glendalough reminded me I can run and hide but those graves are all still speaking. I am not alone.
• I sat in a pub, uneasy and somewhat self-conscious of dining alone in Kilkenny. The first time you dine alone can feel as though everyone is watching you. The truth is, they aren’t. By my last dinner in Ireland, I was comfortable and confident in that silence that comes with eating with no one on the other side of the table.
• Being bombarded with drunk men getting up in my face on Saint Patrick’s Day in Galway had me wishing for a big strong companion to scare them away. Walking quickly and with confidence proved I didn’t need that companion. However, I still believe huge national holidays are best enjoyed with those who know you.
• Aimlessly searching from memory for the home of a relative I had visited 10 years ago in County Donegal, I knocked on a simple door. The look on my distant cousin’s face when he realized who I was gave a purpose to my trip.
• Driving through the Burren in County Clare and seeing a woman holding bright yellow daffodils and walking her dog was pure poetry, a novel cover in the making. It is a scene only I saw and only one I could create in my mind. That scene is just my own. There is a power in seeing grand landscapes or noticing subtle observations of people the solo traveler seems to be much more aware of as they are not distracted by another person or influenced by what their companion thinks and sees.
• A chat with a café owner in Clifden on the problems with the recession in Ireland opened my eyes to how a place can be suffering so much and outsiders might never know it. “But it will get better,” she said with resolve, a motto I carried with me on my solo travels when things did go wrong. Traveling alone opened me up to countless conversations, conversations I fear I wouldn’t have had traveling with company.
• Hearing the echo of my boots in an abbey in Adare as an old man fervently prayed, I realized his prayers were intertwined with my own. Under the same roof, I followed some solo travel advice I received and lit a candle in numerous churches around Ireland. Sitting in churches with just a few others has a calm the solo traveler needs every once and awhile as you are guarded from the elements and hopefully not being judged.
• Opening up my wallet at dinner in Belfast and discovering I had been robbed both defeated and sickened me on Ireland. I quickly realized none of us are immune, no matter how cautious and careful we might be. Don’t beat yourself up or the place the theft occurred. Move on and hope they donated your hard earned money to charity. I dealt with this alone, something at the time I wish I hadn’t, but now I know made me strong.
Upon arriving home, family and friends commended me on my adventure of traveling alone. A month ago, I could understand those comments, but today it just seems as something I set out to do and did.
Are you thinking of traveling solo? Have you traveled alone? How do you explain that feeling after returning from such an accomplishment?
I started traveling alone just this year as a thing that I needed to do- I have watched both my parents die, I have divorced my husband, retired and plan to sell my home and move from the state in which I have lived all my life. I have travelled with companions to Ireland, to France, to England and in the US but never alone. This year I spent a couple weeks in Oregon and Washington just knocking about and then accepted an invite to visit with some friends in Costa Rica which was not alone once I got to the destination but making the arrangements and traveling alone is a challenge also – I do not mind doing things alone, like eating out, going to a movie , or a museum so I am used to that and I agree with what you say about being alone makes the experience more engaging , more personal …I love your blog …keep traveling – I am – I am planning a solo trip to Greece , yikes , did I say that aloud ? well I am ! Martha
So well put. I started traveling solo in 2006, and everythng you mentioned is so true, at to me.
I’ve got a solo trip coming up soon. It’s not the first time I’ve gone somewhere alone but it will be the first time I’ve done so in a place where I don’t know anybody. Five days in San Francisco isn’t exotic and foreign (well, technically it is as I’m Canadian) but I may be a little challenging all the same. I’ve been waffling between anxiety and excitement. This post has made me feel better and has pushed me back into the excited court again.
I’m going to challenge myself to eat in more sit down, order off a menu type restaurants and less fast food. I find that it seems to be more acceptable to eat fast food alone. I’m also going to challenge myself to talk to people while I’m out and about. I’m hoping solo travel doesn’t mean that I have to be alone all the time.
This is so inspirational! I’ve been married for a few years, so I haven’t taken a trip alone in a long time, wait, actually I never have. I’ve been thinking about it and I’m hoping to plan a short trip without my husband this fall. He thinks it a good idea too so that we don’t become to co-dependant. It should be interesting but I’m kind-of nervous!
Really enjoyed this–traveling alone definitely isn’t for everyone, but it definitely helps you appreciate (and sometimes NOT appreciate) traveling with someone else. Best part is being able to do everything exactly how you want to! (No compromising on walking in the sunshine or sitting in the shade 🙂
I’ve traveled solo a few times, just in North America and Western Europe. What I’ve found is the more I travel solo the more addicting it becomes. I’m at the point where I don’t actually want to travel with other people, because I like solo travel so much.
Yay! Glad you enjoyed the joys of solo travel, Suzy. I feel like all my senses are heightened when I’m travelling alone. That’s the thing I like most about it.
I travel alone simply because I live alone and have no one to travel with, but I love it. There is inevitably a moment, usually sometime during the first day, where I panic and say to myself, “What are you doing? You can’t do this alone. You don’t know how to drive on that side of the road….” Or, “You can’t even communicate with anyone here.” I feel small inside and cry for a few minutes, take a deep breath, put on my big girl panties and always, ALWAYS, have an amazing time. September begins my longest solo adventure yet — 3 months in Rome.
I’ve definitely had those moments during the first few days in a new location where I have tears and a few phone calls home that give me the reassurance to continue my solo travels. I am about to go solo to the Czech Republic for the first time. I am excited/nervous/scared but know that my trip there will be an experience I will never forget.
Love these examples, Suzy! I haven’t done this yet, don’t think I could do the driving thing. But I’m glad you made it through without incident…other than getting robbed. 🙁
I also love solo travel- the freedom to do what you want and not have to compromise is a amazing. I can’t believe you spent a month in Ireland. Very happy for you and slightly jealous 🙂 I really want to go at some point!
Lovely and insightful, Suzy. I’m so glad your solo trip went well, it sounds like it was a (mostly) terrific adventure and growth experience. Solo travel has a tendency to do that, doesn’t it?
Dining alone used to pain me greatly. Now I don’t even think about it. It’s great that you became so comfortable with it so quickly. And the walking tall and with confidence thing you figured out, I think that will serve you well in your solo travels. It’s probably saved me from trouble more times than I know.
It’s a great country for you to travel as a solo woman. The people are friendly, there’s not a language barrier and it’s comparatively safe. I am in awe of you driving on the left. One time convinced that I make a better passenger and even then- right turns make me cringe.
It sounds like you had some pretty incredible experience in Ireland, despite getting robbed! I admire you for driving solo through the country on the wrong side of the road. That’s something I have not yet grown brave enough to do, especially solo, though I hope to conquer that fear someday! I have only traveled solo for a max of five days at a time (it was in Paris), but I hope to go longer next time. I found that it was so scary, but so empowering.
I felt the same way in Québec City. Even though I knew French, it wasn’t the same as Québécois. I would light a candle in the churches also; it’s always nice to feel that something was looking out for you, and the churches gave me a way to breath and decompress without judgement.
Thanks for this post, Suzy! I always enjoy reading your thoughts. I’m traveling to Dublin this summer for 10 weeks alone and look forward to experiencing it as you did. I can’t wait to have those “me” moments that one can only enjoy while traveling alone.