You open up a window on your computer screen. A listing of airline prices stares not so friendly back at you. It’s actually more of an evil eye these days. You hesitate and close out the screen. A few days later, you come back to this same destination. You fill out the information, give the airline your whole life story, and circle the “Purchase” button with your mouse. Then an uncontrollable disease infects you. You hesitate about buying that ticket. You hesitate to move, not just the mouse, but yourself to somewhere else.
To Click or Not to Click "Buy That Ticket"? That is the Question
I’m not talking about hesitating because of prices or hesitating because the connection to Budapest is lousy. So what do I have to hesitate about? I am now just under 2 months away from taking off for a summer in Europe. Many other writers I read seem to be leaving within days, leaving their jobs, leaving their familiar lives to go around the world. Something must be in the air. I see some hesitation in them, but not of the bad kind. They are just facing something so brave, so inconceivable to many. Hesitation is only human.
However, I am not leaving a job to go travel around this summer. I don’t have to pack up my home. My car won’t be sold, or so I hope, little brother. I’ll be back, at the risk of sounding like the Terminator. I’m only going away for 3 months. I’ll come back for a few months and then leave again for somewhere else. So what is wrong with me and my travel hesitation?
Travelers tend to mask this hesitation. They cover it up and file it away, pretending it’s not there. They are supposed to be thrilled to go travel. They are supposed to be excited about buying gear for a trip or the task we all complain about yet secretly love, packing. The lines of being a person that likes to travel are drawn ever so darkly and sharply. Step outside them and you just may have a backpack thrown your way. (Ducking as I type)
I guess I should stop throwing out “you’s”. This is just how it seems for me. I’m not supposed to be hesitating to travel but I do. It isn’t money. It isn’t that my connection is lousy, although it does include a stop in Omaha so maybe it is (Sorry Nebraskans). Travel hesitation may just be another word for nerves or uncertainty. Sure, I think about what I leave behind by taking off for so long. If you had a black schnauzer like I do at home, would you want to leave? Then there are some concerns that I will be lonely. I have already written about my battles with the solo travel loneliness monster. He’s at bay for now.
"You're leaving me?"
I do think many hesitate because of money. I also believe others hesitate due to friends and family they will miss. We no doubt hesitate because of change, reluctant but willing all at the same time. Most of all, I think we hesitate, to keep travel interesting. Travel might wind up to be a big snooze if we didn’t anticipate it with a little nervousness, worry, uncertainty, and of course, hesitation. Part of that worry is what makes those destinations so worthwhile. Once you get there, your hesitation is gone, left behind and forgotten on the airplane seat pocket where most travel items go to die. Your new home is the road and not something so comfortable. Your life is instantly different. Then that travel magic steps in. You aren’t uncertain. You don’t doubt. You stop hesitating about your destination because you are experiencing it.
Most solve this hesitation by just frequenting the same places every year for vacation, those that head to Disneyland every June or Vegas every weekend. They get in a pattern of vacationing in the same spot every year. Why? So they don’t have to deal with travel hesitation. The place is familiar. Nothing is a mystery. What they forget is simple. They aren’t traveling anymore. Travel is supposed to be this unknown.
Traveling Without Hesitation and Happy
Well, I’ve blown my cover. I hesitate about travel and I love to travel, two ideas that shouldn’t be in the same sentence by travel’s standards. Have you ever noticed how hesitation and destination sound so similar? It might be that travel and mystery go hand in hand, that not knowing what waits at our destination forces us to practice some hesitation. I’ll just be on my way in 2 months, keeping my hesitation around to make the destination that much more worthwhile.
Do you ever hesitate about travel? If you’re afraid to show your face, feel free to take on a disguised name like John Doe in the comment box.
That’s funny. I was just talking about that with my neighbors last night! We read an interesting book about fear of commitment (we’re all single.) It said that our not settling down is a by-product of not wanting to be tied down — in many areas of our lives, not just dating! Their theory is that there are people who like schedules, and then there are people who would rather be on call virtually all the time (freelancers) — than commit to a 9-5 schedule. “Commitment-phobes” don’t like to commit to ANYthing, whether it’s making your home home-y, dinner reservations, or perhaps a plan reservation. It was interesting to see which ones of us had which symptoms! I have a feeling most of the people in our “group” are more of the, um, nomadic type than then 9-5ers. Just a guess! (PS I meant “plane” reservation, but it won’t let me change the typo!)
I really love this post, Suzy. You’ve beautifully captured the insight in text. I have the same tendency to “hesitate,” as you put it. It’s nothing to be ashamed of – it’s part of being human.
I think we hesitate because of a fear: fear of the unknown. Even if we aren’t satisfied with our lives now, we stay in our routines because we are comfortable with it. It is a very scary thing to give up what we know for something that has the potential to be great, but also has the potential to backfire. Not everyone is willing to take that risk. I think it’s totally normal to take some time to weigh the risks and rewards before traveling; however, I think that those who are willing to take the risk ultimately receive the greater reward 🙂
The night I bought my ticket I immediately wanted to throw up. But it’s like a band-air you just need to get it over with. I won’t pretend the anxiety goes away, in fact mine got worse preparing for my trip. But it all vanished as I went through security and started walking to my gate.
I spent a few hours alternating between trying to click the ‘buy now’ button for my ticket and burying my head under my pillow. I had a full out panic attack, called a few friends who listened (mostly) patiently to my insane ramblings… then finally bit the bullet and clicked.
It was one of the hardest moments leading up to my trip, selling my stuff & other preparation was nothing compared to that moment.
I think Abby’s on to something about the travellers fear of commitment!
I can only imagine what its going to be like with our year trip. I didn’t hesitate with the Spain tickets we bought, but I know I had that “are you insane?” thought with Japan. Thank you for writing this! It makes me feel a little more “normal”. 🙂
Great post, though I can’t relate to it all that much. I’ve been traveling since before I can remember (parents dragged me along as an infant), and I’ve been traveling solo internationally since I was 17, and domestically since I was 12. After awhile, it becomes second nature and you stop hesitating.
I think Abby said it—for me at least, I hesitate at the commitment of side of travel. I’ve recently been playing through the whole scenario you described (almost daily, just in case the fares start to go up), and I just haven’t been able to click the purchase button. “Do I really wanna be tied down to this trip? What if something else awesome comes up?” Ridiculous, right?—travelers balking at the commitment of travel!
Hi Suzy, I completely agree with you. I don’t know why I hesitate but I do. I think for me it’s because I don’t think any other trip could top my 8 month stint through Europe that I did after college and I feel that if I go back it will just make me miss it even more and I might never come back to the states. It sounds weird but it’s true. I keep going to San Diego or L.A. or Vegas but I’m pushing myself to go visit my friend in Sweden because I need to remind myself that I am still a traveler even though I haven’t traveled in a while and that even though I can’t go for 8 months, a two week trip is better than nothing and better experiences await me.
The same thing happens to me every time. Who knows why. But lately to just make myself do it-I tell myself it’ll be more expensive later if I don’t do it now, which a lot of times is actually true. Just click CONFIRM!
I know the feeling! But I think that hesitation is the result of knowing full well that we are about to find ourselves well out of our comfort zones.
However, I’ve also found that the more hesitation I have at the start, the more motivation it turns into as my travels begin. After all, the further we are away from our comfort zones, the more unique experiences we have and the more we are affected and changed by our travels. And if that requires a little hesitation in the beginning, I’ll take it!
Great post.
I think my main hesitation relates to friends, we plan on going away for as long as possible and sometimes I think about all the stories I’m going to hear from my friends that I won’t be involved in. Currently I live with 3 friends and everyone else is always round here..it’s going to be strange not seeing them all everyday.
My hesitation lasted for a couple of years and was mostly centered around family, friends, and health (not having the level of insurance I’d need). It took a while to get over, but for the last year I’ve continued to save and plan for the trip I embark on in 5 weeks! I’m still nervous — equally excited and terrified most days — but it’s not hesitation. Maybe more of knowing a huge life change has been in the distance for so long, and now it’s finally coming into focus. I’ve wanted it for so long and now it’s here…hard to believe!
Every single time. For different reasons – sometimes money (I recall heading to Mexico for 2 months with an empty bank account…), and occasionally because I’m not sure if even moving off the couch is the right thing to do. Never mind jetting off to Istanbul.
However, it’s *always* been worth the trip!
Oh, nothing wrong with hesitation. It’s good, though, that you never let it stop you!
Suzy, I took off to the other side of the planet (from Boston, USA to Bangalore, India) a little under a month ago. A few months before that I quit my job. I can absolutely relate to your hesitation! In fact, I wrote a post that detailed the things I did to nudge myself into action:
http://raamdev.com/10-ways-to-nudge-yourself-into-action
I think the best way to get around the hesitation is to imagine the world as if those three months were over with and you were returning back home from your awesome adventure, a new person with new experiences. That way you just look at purchasing the ticket as a small step along the way. 🙂
Good luck!
Haha never crossed my mind that hesitation and destination are so similar. I think we all feel that hesitation for the unknown, it’s also a part of travel that I wouldn’t want to be without 🙂
If you find a sick deal, take it. I’ve “put off” some super econo deals only to finally decide to go and the price was jacked. Just think of Nike “Just Do It” 😉
I can completely relate! Especially to leaving the dogs! I have two dogs that are like my children and we will be leaving them with their “people grandparents”! We too are only traveling for 6 weeks but it seems like a lifetime! I’m excited but nervous of all that time- even though the excitement is far greater than the nerves. I just hope my little doggies don’t forget us!
I’ve hesitated about buying my plane ticket, my visa for the UK even my travel insurance. Maybe it was because of the sheer about of money I was about to hand over or just the fear of what it all leads up too.
Buying all of these things means I’m drawing a line in the sand and saying YES I WILL TRAVEL, and I think that was the scary bit.
I wouldn´t say that I’ve hesitated going on big trips (it helps that I travel with my partner), even when we recently left the UK to travel indefinitely, but I definitely feel hesitation on the road. Where to go next? Should we risk the unknown and uncomfortable journeys in Paraguay? We have to push ourselves to do the things that scare us.