I am sitting in the airport, waiting to catch a flight. This scenario plays out at countless airports around the world. Often, there is someone waiting for us on the other end of that plane ride. Other times, there is no one. We are just heading into the unknown, not knowing a soul at our destination. Today I am lucky to have a friendly face, fingers crossed, greeting me on the other end of that short plane ride. However, when I make a much longer and more extensive trip in just 2 months, no one will be waiting for me or expecting my arrival at the other end.
Travel can be a lonely experience. There are many that will tell you it is not, promoting solo travel like it should be the standard. I am a firm believer in traveling alone. You push yourself more. You go places you wouldn’t normally go. You become much more independent traveling alone. The travel episodes I remember most do not come with people I know. They come with new acquaintances, new experiences, and new observations I would have closed myself off to if I were traveling with someone. Regardless, no one can convince me that little hints of loneliness do not creep into those solo itineraries. I know I will settle comfortably into traveling this summer, with or without others, but there will be those moments of loneliness. I will face the nights when the mean, probably green, loneliness monster will invade a stop on my itinerary.
I am still left with this annoying, lingering traveling loneliness. How do you cure it? Head to the corner bar in town and throw a few back to ease the awkwardness of sitting alone? That sounds pretty appealing, but sometimes travelers just need to burrow in their travel loneliness. There may be other cures, but here are mine for all of those travel lonely hearts out there.
1. Pack That Favorite Movie, TV show, or Book
Hiding away from the world with a good movie
Last summer I had less than a pleasant travel experience abroad. I found myself incredibly alone, at one of those cheesy crossroads moments, not knowing where to go and who would receive me on the other end. I did have a computer and I did pack a few of my favorite movies and TV shows. Those nights when I am incredibly lonely traveling, not in the mood to brave the unknown because I have been braving it all day, popping in a good romantic comedy could always set me straight. My mind would forget my loneliness and I would pour into those favorite characters. Many discourage sticking to these securities. You should go out and meet people. Rather, I clutch these DVDs like a blanket. Some nights socializing is not an option. You don’t have to talk to the TV, unless you really desire unreciprocated conversation.
2. Surround Yourself with Food and Drink
Embrace your destination's specialties
Whether you can head down to a local supermarket, find an appealing restaurant, or discover those jackpot stands selling the town’s specialty, go eat, drink and be merry. Food and drink always help me battle travel loneliness. I have found going out to get a bite to eat also leads to experiences and stories I would have never had if I just stayed in, digging through the apartment refrigerator. Get some fresh air. Pick up a gelato. Chocolate is the root of all happiness.
3. Find a Bench, Sit, and People Watch
Travel benches with open seating
People-watching always takes my mind off of being lonely when I travel. I think it has something to do with being distracted by other cultures’ clothes and outfit combinations. It is also fascinating to just observe people interacting, speculating on their relationships and lives. I developed this skill probably from my sister who loves to look around restaurants for those awkward first dates. She comes up with stories about the pairing and how the date is going from their body languages. Perhaps it is just for entertainment, but people watching throughout travel always puts my mind in a different world, separate from my loneliness.
4. Be a Tourist
Following the pack of tourists
Sight-see like it’s your job. If you are traveling for pleasure, it is your job. Instead of staying in with a tub of ice cream, get out and peruse museum after museum and every church in Europe. That should keep you busy for a while. I tend to get annoyed when people are those typical tourists, stopping in the middle of the street with an entire line of locals trying to get by. However, these annoying tourists can also be your best friends. The stories that come from going to tourist traps are priceless. Also, accepting that you too are a foreigner wanting to see all of the main attractions can help with feeling lonely. You are not alone, but part of a curious group of people interested in learning about a destination. Standing in a long line for the Sistine Chapel may be worth it to see one of the greatest ceilings in the world, but those characters in line are a part of the whole experience.
Do you have a cure for solo travel loneliness? Please share yours in the comment box below. I’m leaving soon and need more ideas to battle the travel loneliness monster.
Its like you read my mind. I think these are all things I had planned to use to ease a troublesome day.
I’ll be stocking up my macbook with favorite tv shows and movies for moments when i just want to be with myself.
Beer and food go hand in hand so what better thing to do than find a quite cafe or bar to sit and chill, even talk to a local.
History and people fascinate me. I read a post by Steph a while back I think about some great parks you can visit. I’m hoping the summer plays nice for me but how awesome would it be to relax in the sun in one, just watching the people and day pass by.
As for being a tourist. Well if in doubt and I find myself lost. Following a group of people that look like they don’t belong is sure to get me home.
Great advice, Suzy! My usual cure for loneliness is striking up conversations with people. I usually start with people who have to talk to me (LOL) ’cause it’s their job, but more often than not, other people come onto the scene to talk with as well. A good night’s sleep can work wonders for loneliness, too. I find I tend to feel a little lonelier at night, but first thing in the morning, I’m ready to take on the world.
I like your first suggestion, a good TV series to follow helps take you (and the feeling of loneliness) away.
Hey Suzy!
On my first solo trip to Australia I was nervous as hell. The thought of loneliness creeping in got me all tied up, wondering what would I do.
I did all that you mentioned and today I am more confident of traveling alone and meeting new people. Chatting with people is always helpful. Sometimes a cabbie and help u with many options to do things. I enjoyed discovering food joints where the locals eat.
I really connected with this blog.
Great post, I love people watching when alone – it’s a fine art and it does help to take your mind off things.
I have a playlist on my iPod of songs that make me happy – usually my favourite songs at the time. It’s perfect listening for a train ride or when you’re about to go to sleep to beat loneliness.
I found going into a super local bar (away from the main drags), one in which you’d find businessmen, a lonely bartender and nothing more than a few tables and empty bar stools did the trick. Those divey places provided a nice background noise of football on the tele and the occassional gentleman to strike up a conversation with — if not offer to buy you a drink.
I was given a stuffed monkey (aptly named travel monkey) by my brother-in-law, an experienced solo traveller himself. I was instructed that whenever I’m feeling lonely I was to take travel monkey off somewhere and give him a photo shoot. At first I was kind of embarrassed to be taking photos of a pink monkey pretending to eat ice cream or bungee jump or rudely gesturing to the camera. But my friends and family love seeing the crazy things travel monkey gets up to and I always come back laughing. I’ve met lots of curious people who want to know what the deal is with the monkey.
I bet you won over a lot of hearts with this one! Bringing along something from home is such a good idea, something that might not seem so when you’re trying so hard to pack light before you head out. Bouts of wanting to share an experience with someone is certainly shared by all travelers. Well done!
Good tips and a “monster” I’ve been afflicted with in the past. I, too, am anxious about meeting it again because it will happen. I wrote a post back in December that provided two other tips: write down your fear and make yourself smile. I find that sometimes the unclassified, nebulous fear is more persistent and difficult to dispel than the one you can define in plain language. It makes it feel smaller.
I think your tip about delving into your favorite media is similar to making yourself smile. When we travel, we’re often so far away from the things we normally like to do in our day-to-day life. It’s not wrong to reconnect with those things while on your trip, whether that’s calling your significant other/family member, skimming Hulu, or going for a jog.
Great post!
This is a great list of loneliness beaters. Sort of adding on to number one, I would suggest bringing not only a favorite book or DVD but also a favorite small item or two from home, like maybe some photos of your loved ones which you can stick in the mirror or some special something that means home to you. When you look at them you might forget for a moment or two that you’re alone in a foreign land.
Thanks for the tips. I find the days easy but sometimes forcing myself to go out at night can require a lot of motivation. I like to book walking tours early evening if possible. Chances are you’ll meet great people and end up with someone to dine with. Friendly couples seem to like to befriend solo travellers (maybe they’re bored of each other by then, I don’t know.) I will also go out for dinner or a drink and sit at the bar – bartenders are always friendly (sometime too friendly) but you can always walk away, they also have great tips about the local sights.
This is great! I’m thinking about going to London this summer to study, and going alone is one of my biggest fears especially in a place I don’t know.
Usually when I travel, I drive. One game I like to play while driving is making up life stories for the people in the cars next to me. I got the idea from a book called Paper Towns by John Green (I highly recommend it) and it is so much fun and I always find myself laughing at the stories I would come up with.
I like your list Suzy! I just like to wander through the streets sometimes and see what happens even if I get lost. It allows me to get lost in my own thoughts which I do a lot but there’s also a good chance I’ll bump into something great. I also like to combine people watching and food. Sitting on a bench and eating chocolate is always a good combo!
Because I’m from Ireland, I just find the nearest Irish Pub. I did this in Northern Italy last year and found that I was the only Irish thing about the Pub. I drank the Guinness all week, now that made me feel at home. I loved every minute of every day that I was there. I loved the food everywhere that I went. I had a ball.
Hi,
Great post, thanks.
I am leaving for a years trip in a weeks time and know it can be lonely especially as I am of the older generation and the younger peoples gatherings can be a bit OTT sometimes. I find the worst time is the evening meal. No-one to tell about your day. I always take a book. No room in the back pack for DVD’s I’m afraid. It weighs a ton already! Just eat late, have a drink and at the end of that it will be bed time.
I especially liked the “travel bench.” You are right-on that being distracted by others’ culture helps fight the solo loneliness. I often do this in a grocery store or market, just observing the shoppers. I also like Sabina’s (above) suggestion of bringing a special something or photo from home. A small, comforting item can help rein in the blues.
Having traveled & backpacked extensively solo and with a partner, there are differences. Solo can indeed be lonely at times, but I’ve also found it opens you up to different people and experiences who you otherwise might not encounter. Both are experiences that all should have.
Some great tips here.
Don’t be afraid to talk to the waiter/waitress at the restaurant. For many of them it’s a chance to practice their English. He/she can also be a wealth of great information.
Calling friends back home with Skype has helped me a lot during those lonely times. There’s something about a video chat that really does make them feel closer.
When I don’t have internet access and feel that loneliness monster starts lurking around the corner I tend to either hole up in my room and watch a movie or 2, or force myself to go out and wander looking for something specific like going to a tourist trap, shopping for something I need, finding a small restaurant filled with locals or anything that will force me out and talking with people. Sometimes the quiet time helps at other times I need to feel like I accomplished something or jumped into the local social scene.
Thank you very much to all of you. I have travelled a couple of times to Europe with tour buses. I enjoyed them but I want to travel on my own. i am a 56 yr old woman and I am a little bit apprehensive. I have booked my flights to go this August for 5 week trip of Italy & the Greek Islands. Your suggestions are going to be very helpful and I know feel more comfortable going around by myself.
Great post, Suzy.
I’ll be leaving to travel southeast Asia alone in 8 days. I’m really looking forward to it. I’m sure that I will meet a lot of cool, fun people to hang out with on the road.
Taking some movies with me is a good idea, never thought about it. I’ll surely do this.
we often see two people together taking turns taking pictures of each other. i walk up and ask if they would like me to take their pictures together. almost everyone is happy to show me how to use their camera and to pose together. i have had some fun times this way.
if you stay in hostels rather than a hotel you willl find many other people who are alone and happy for conversation and maybe to spend the day together.
Aah yes the catch twenty-two of solo travel is that at some stage you find yourself slightly sad and lonely. Your tips are great, these are exhactly the things I do when I travel solo!!! 🙂 It’s also the way I delt with being solo and the only foreigner for miles living in my new home in China. Just getting out there, exloring or indulging in some of your comforts (like eating chocolate and watching Mamma Mia) are great cures for lonliness!!! 😀
I’ve been typing up thoughts to talk about solo traveler loneliness (someone’s gotta talk about it, right?) so I was glad to see this post 🙂 When I was in Melbourne and didn’t have any roomies and hardly a soul was in the hostel, I downloaded Glee (how had I not been watching this at home?!) and looked forward to it in the evenings when I knew I’d be alone. Just bought my first book today (not sure where I’m going to keep it!). And since I love walking, I’ll walk for hours instead of taking a tram or bus to pass some time and reflect. Looking forward to reading about your summer!