I keep making eye contact with the waiter. Eventually our eyes meet, mine of a more hopeful nature and his of avoidance. He comes around to every table of native Italians asking how their food is, making sure everything is up to par. For me, I am not so lucky. He comes by to take my order, bring me my food, and our relationship ends for the evening. Getting the check is a whole different story. After asking several times and no slip of white paper with Italian scribble produced, I am left with getting up and being “that diner” who heads up front to pay for no one will acknowledge their wishes.
As my three months in Europe quickly wind down to just one more month in Europe, I started to reflect on my time here. Filled with visits to new countries and eye opening experiences, there is only one aspect to travel that always leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, the mistreatment of travelers. In a country like Italy, struggling financially, my business is keeping many businesses open this summer. Without people like myself, Florence would be a ghost town in summer just as it is in winter. Is my presence appreciated? Not entirely.
Throughout my travels this summer at some point or another I am mistreated due to my foreigner status. Whether it is the simple snub of a shop owner not saying hello after I greet them when the local behind me gets a warm welcome or those waiters that stick you at a table that isn’t really a table and the Italians after you at the best seat in the house. These are not instances of cultural misunderstandings and quirks, but rather obvious attempts to differentiate one human being from another, treating one better than the other. I don’t mean to Italy bash or anywhere bash for that matter, but why do travelers, tourists, or whatever you call yourself need to be mistreated ever so simply?
Dreaming of being treated like a medieval princess while traveling through Switzerland
I suppose mistreatment comes in all areas of life even when travel is not taking place. We are driving down a road of speeding cars with everyone speeding, yet you get pulled over for the ticket. You are the one singled out. In a travel scenario, you are the foreigner. You are already singled out. The mistreatment appears to be heightened for nothing and no one around you is familiar. You are the different one. Culturally, you don’t fit in exactly.
I am polite, respectful, and I make attempts to speak the local tongue wherever I may be. I don’t make large demands. I don’t ask for much. Despite being a loud person, I am not loud here in Italy. I keep quiet so as not to be “overly American”. Then I realize. It’s not the Americans being loud, but the Italians yelling outside my window that wake me up at night.
A foreigner by definition is someone coming from a country other than one’s own, a stranger or outsider. In Italy, I am that redheaded stranger. I am left with only a string of travel scenarios I wish I wasn’t and then again I hold countless I am fortunate to have. However, those exchanges of discrimination need to be reversed. The scamming of travelers and tourists needs to end.
The only answer I can give is to never treat a foreigner in my home state or country as though they are a lesser human being. There is a cycle of connection that at some point or another, we are all the outsiders trying to be accepted. That connection and commonality should be so strong that travelers are welcome. They should not be individuals to avoid, as we all will be in that position at some point or another. Perhaps if we all start treating travelers with respect, those waiters that don’t make eye contact will.
Why do think this unwarranted mistreatment of travelers occurs? What is the answer to quieting the problem? Everyone has their story of being mistreated while traveling due to their foreigner status. Feel free to share/vent in the comment box below. We need all the support we can get.
I think in some cases we’ve confused mistreatment for social differences. Like in France we weren’t used to the kind of attention we normally get in a restaurant. Turns out the restaurant culture in France is different.
Other times I think locals don’t want to approach tourists because of a language barrier, or they don’t want to the person who becomes the tour guide and have tourists latch onto them.
I think a lot of mistreatment is simply a misunderstanding. That’s not to say it doesn’t happen. Tourists are cash cows and I’m sure we’ve all been in a situation where we were overcharged.
But sometimes I think: we’re just different. That’s all.
I completely agree that cultural misunderstandings are often confused for mistreatment, but those instances where it is not a cultural confusion are what I find a problem with here. Perhaps therein lies the problem. We accept subtle mistreatment of overpaying or bad service because we are tourists so they keep occurring. The behavior is never corrected.
These things happen and so does the opposite – tourists being treated way better than the locals because they might spend more in one place. Both are wrong to my opinion because both locals and tourists bring in business and I believe they shoudl all get kind and polite treatment wherever they go.
Tourism is a business first and foremost. It involves hotels, restaurants, clubs, attractions, gift shops, but it also involves a lot of people who just walk the streets. I think we all need to learn to be kinder and nicer to people in general and stop needing to make an effort to impress foreigners and make them feel welcome. It should come naturally 🙂
Language barriers do spoil the fun a lot of times. But you can signal someone you don’t speak their language with a smile on your face, you should not act like you need to run away from a potential threat.
Agreed, treating people well regardless of where they are from should come naturally. Unfortunately that is most often not the case for travelers and tourists in Italy. I see more of a mistreatment of travelers than I do locals here. Even knowing the language and not afraid to use it, I look different (physically) and often times I am written off as not a person.
There is sometimes a point at which you don’t notice whether you are being mistreated or just outside of cultural norms. This cuts both ways though.
Tourists often can be quite arrogant, enforcing their norms on the locals. I can well imagine that this sets up a feeling of resentment in the local minds. This means that they don’t feel so bad about a few extra coins or giving the dark back table to someone who probably won’t notice. The other side is that because as travelers we don’t understand the cultures, sometimes we accept things as culture normal when in fact they are mistreatment. We think, well maybe it is normal.
Where do you draw the line and how do you know? Especially if the language barrier is significant and the time in country is short. I guess it has to come to instinct and feel. And to help the problem?? Well to encourage the better behaviors, to thank those that give good service.
I find the most abuse comes in restaurants around the idea of tipping. It is near required in the US to give a hefty tip. In Europe this is not the case as I know of. Italy often has Coperto/Cover, but Germany is just apart of the listed price. I still do give some in Germany, but much more in line with “rounding” up, rather than “adding on”.
Great points Andrew. I guess one bad, arrogant traveler can ruin it for us all and locals will start looking at us differently. I agree that we should encourage better behaviors on both ends, the tourist and the local. It’s something I didn’t consider so thanks for bringing that up.
Hmm. Really interesting post, and I have had many of those experiences over the years (and many where I have been treated wonderfully, too). I think the reasons stem from a combination of things, depending on the person– prejudice, cultural misunderstandings, our expectations, the business side of tourism… One thing I do know is true is that not every local likes tourists, and prejudice exists as a result. In those situations, I try to keep smiling, but I suppose if you speak the language, it might be interesting to ask the person why they are treating you like that. It might make them realize that their behavior is hurtful.
Great idea Jenna! I had never thought to ask why I am being treated differently. Knowing Italian, I will have to test out your bold move before I leave.
Hey Suzy. Great post – a real thinker.
It’s a bummer when you get second rate treatment for being a foreigner- especially when all you’re trying to do is learn about and explore a new place. I can’t imagine treating a traveler in Melbourne like that – I’m always happy to see people interested in the city I love so much! But I’m sure plenty of travelers have been mistreated in Melbourne too.
I don’t know what’s worse – the disheartening snubbing, or the opposite; frustratingly excessive attention. Either way, I’m sure we’d be hard pressed to find anywhere that has a perfect balance all the time. I’ve come to the conclusion that, right or not, it’s just one of those unglamorous and often trying elements of travel that helps us grow – which is often a big part of why we travel in the first place – it makes us stronger… in a different way to dealing with scary bugs and maniac drivers. ^^
Insightful points Amy. Mistreatment has made me a stronger traveler so that is a great way to look at them, turning a negative into a positive.
Hey Suzy,
Although there have been occasions where I have felt the same way, it’s ironic because if I were to write a post titled “Treatment Differences Among Locals and Foreigners” as a general write-up, I’d probably be writing the opposite. Traveling in Africa, I experienced better treatment than locals for the most part. Whether it be going to a clinic in a village in Kenya and by-passing locals who had been waiting for hours or getting a better seat in local transport, I was generally very well looked after. There were times when I felt like it was good hospitality and then there were times when I felt uncomfortable for being treated in a superior manner. Anyhow, enjoy your last month!
How interesting! I suppose it depends on where you are geographically. A friend of mine who recently visited Guatemala told me how welcoming and friendly they were to visitors. She has been living in Florence for a few years now and couldn’t get over how a place would embrace a foreigners rather than just tolerate them. It seems from your experience Africa is one of those places, one that embraces tourists almost to an embarrassing degree. I guess we have to factor in where we are to see if the treatment shifts.
I struggled with this in France. Then to my utter disbelief, when I returned to the US and took up a job at Starbucks, I was surprised at how racist my coworkers were to some of the other nationalities attending me middle-of-no-where PA university. I grew up around many other cultures and nationalities so I haven’t been one to insist that all people need to be American, followed by a methodical list on why. I love foreigners and getting to know them through the stories they share about their walks in life.
More importantly, I had been the foreigner! I had wondered around France for a year and struggled with being seen, struggled with people even believing I could speak French. I think the downside of tourism is the frustration of the people living in an exhausted tourist trap- and who can blame them.
Great post and thanks for sharing your challenges and experiences.
Exactly! I guess you can’t blame a person for being tired of tourists when they have tolerated them for years and years, apparently having mostly negative experiences and interactions. I guess I would just like to be given the benefit of the doubt rather than judged based off of travelers that have come before me. It is interesting to here your perspective of being on both sides of the debate. I think that quiets the problem the most. If you have been a foreigner or seen foreigners in your own country mistreated you have unending perspective on how to treat people in general.
Okay, I HATE to stereotype, but I’ve noticed that I usually receive that kind of ignorant behavior when traveling in more developed countries. Especially countries who dislike Americans. However, because I’ve chosen to travel over the last 5 years to more developing places, which I find more culturally interesting, I haven’t really experienced it as much if at all. I feel bad for those people, because it’s their loss–they’re missing out on meeting some VERY interesting people!
I couldn’t agree more Andi! I’ve experienced this kind of ‘mistreatment’ so much more in Europe than in Asia. Despite standing out as a foreigner a lot more in Asia (or maybe because of it), I’ve always been welcomed with open arms by people who are happy to see others take an interest in their country and their culture. That being said, the reverse is also true – I’ve seen foreigners take advantage of this kindness and mistreat locals more so in Asia than in Europe…
This is exactly what I was going to point out. Although I can’t speak from experience because I haven’t traveled in the less developed world yet but it’s true I feel. Here in Florence even though so much of their economy depends on tourism it almost seems that they resent the fact. I had a similar generalization about France, although again, I haven’t been there. I am just speaking from my experience in Italy and what I have heard from others.
I found a similar situation teaching English, actually. I know this article is about tourists and travelers but the attitude relate so I wanted to point it out. The classes I taught in Italy were quick to judge me and were less receptive to my methods of teaching and I had a really difficult time with it. Whereas from what I have heard others say, in other countries (where the culture is also drastically different) such as Asian countries, the students absolutely adore their teachers and the experience is beyond rewarding.
It’s an interesting debate and unfortunately because these locals are acting based on a stereotype, they are creating a stereotype of their own.
I would be interested to hear if anyone ever went to Paris and said they were treated with the utmost respect. Please if you have I want to know! If not, then it’s unfortunate that people form these stereotypes because my French friend is one of the most kind and caring people I know and I find it hard to believe she is alone.
I haven’t had a problem in Paris – maybe it’s because I speak French, but I’ve never experienced anything worse than a bit of stereotypical nonchalance (it wouldn’t be Paris without it!). I’ve encountered what Suzy is talking about in the more tourist-prone parts Italy and Spain.
Interesting what you said about your teaching experience too – I taught in South Korea and as you say, my students showed me more love than I could’ve ever imagined. Respect for teachers is very strong in Asia and foreigners are generally treated really well, so I’m not surprised to hear of others who have had fantastic experiences… It’s a shame yours wasn’t as pleasant. My time in Korea has inspired me to go back to school to complete a Masters in teaching!
Wow great article… you know its funny I wouldn’t think that of the Italians. But you were probably in the North, the South is much different especially since they are dying for your money compared to the North. Its funny they say that a lot about Paris how the parisians tend you mistreat you but everyone still wants to go back. You should learn some italian cuss words! lol
PLease see here for an instructional video I found on youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXoCPK9jioM&feature=related
I think in Central America some people see me coming and panicked thinking “oh gawd she probably doesn’t speak Spanish, what will I do” and so they avoided me. I see the look of fear in their eyes sometimes as they abruptly turn away. Sometimes I just want to be left alone so it’s good but I am almost always *that* diner that has to go up and pay.
Interesting post! I can recall several years ago being in Barcelona and going into a local restaurant (off the tourist path) for dinner. I was on a group tour and about 10 of us had decided to grab dinner together – a mix of Americans and Aussies mostly. We immediately were led to a far back room (even though there were tables available in the main part of the restaurant). As we were seated, we all joked that this must be where they put the stupid American tourists.
On another trip, in Paris, I was with a few friends at a restaurant and we were all trying our best to use some French with the waiter, who was totally friendly to us. We were then joined by 2 other friends who proceeded to just rattle on and on to the waiter in English, getting annoyed when he didn’t understand. His whole attitude toward our table changed at that point and he was borderline rude to us the rest of the night.
I suspect in a lot of places, the waitstaff is more used to tourists like our 2 friends who assume everyone knows English, don’t make an attempt to use the local language and overall carry an attitude – and they judge and apply stereotypes and assume all tourists are like that, even when we’re not.
Despite the paradox, I’d say the more a place earns its income from tourists the more likely we will be resented and made to feel unwelcome. Familiarity breeds contempt and all that. Anyway, don’t let the buggers get you down.
it’s a strange thing isn’t it? I’ve been on the receiving end myself quite a few times, although not very often out here in Finland where they are really welcoming and friendly for the most part. I think stereotypes have a lot to do with it, people assume, for some reason as they’ve more than likely been tourists themselves, that tourists are all loud, uncouth idiots. A ridiculous when you consider it is often tourists that bring in the money for these businesses.
I’m not really sure I agree that this is a case of being mistreated because you are a foreigner. I’m an American living in London as just this morning, I went into an Italian-run cafe, where I was greatly by a brisk “ciao” and then left to myself. Only when I engaged the owner, asking about the food and where he was from in Italy, did a friendly conversation ensue. Earlier this year, I was in Rome, and had similar experiences. Keep in mind, English is not as proficient in Italy as many other European cities, and maybe it is just a cultural difference.
Hey Tammy,
I would think it wasn’t mistreatment if I was speaking English to the waiter, but I am proficient in Italian so I was speaking Italian. I have lived in Italy for several years to know and understand the dining and cultural norms at restaurants and shops. No matter how perfect I say something in Italian, because of the way I look, as I’m told by Italians, they know I am not Italian and thus treatment is different.
I’ve never experienced this, but “Incontinent on the Continent” discusses the whole matter a lot. I found it really surprising, I can’t imagine anyone in the service industry treating a customer poorly. This is why there needs to be a tipping system! Hah.
I just want to add one more thing. I just finished responding to a person’s comment on the frommers.com forum about how totally rude the people were in Prague. I never experienced that in Prague in all my visits there, but she is not the first person who has said this. That got me thinking about why they might have experienced such rudeness there, and I thought that a lot of it has to do with the fact that the city has been almost taken over by tourists just over the past 10 years or so (it’s been “open” since 1989, but it wasn’t crowded like it is now in the 1990s). The historic center of Prague is mobbed by tourists, and the character of it has changed as a result. It really prevents the locals from enjoying their beloved city. Because the center of Florence is so small and mobbed, they may feel resentment from that, too. Just a thought…
I have yet to really experience anything like this – other than just having the initial culture shock of the differences in customer service.
For the first time in my travels I’m going to a place where I look a little more like the locals (however I’m sure my tattoos will peg me as American right away). I do know Spanish and I’m excited about seeing what happens.
It is really terrible that something like this happened. I’m sure I’ll come across it later and I’ll come running to you for advice. <3
I agree with Jenna though, I would ask them to see what they say.
This is why I always try to go out of my way to be nice to travelers who come to the U.S. – the olde golden rule.