I sit in the Rome Airport waiting to board my flight. A man standing behind me loudly converses with some passengers I believe he met on his tour through Italy. Their conversation hints they know each other only on a surface level. I hear him proudly boast it was his second time to Italy and now he’s “done with Italy”. “Seen it,” he says so casually. Somehow I doubt that as he sports the typical Italia jacket found in every tourist center throughout the boot.
He goes on to drill his new friends, randomly asking, “So how many 50 states have you been to?”, similar to that of a child on the school playground. “So how many monkey bars can you climb?” He doesn’t ask the question out of interest and I know that fact with his next statement. He ignores his friend’s response and proudly boasts “49”. He goes on to say he wants to go to Africa and run a marathon. He would then like to go to Asia to run a marathon with elephants. Well, maybe I added in that part of his travel aspirations. This gum chopping man left me with a question I often consider. Is it ever right to brag about travel?
Saying you’ve seen all of Italy after visiting Florence, Venice and Rome doesn’t cut it for me. Just as I wouldn’t say I have seen all of Norway when I have only been to Oslo. That man in the airport didn’t talk about the experiences he had in such a fashion to note meaning or depth. He didn’t want to hear about his new friends’ travels. His friends hadn’t been to all 50 states, but he had. He was quantifying travel to qualify.
Travel tends to bring about bragging. There is a fine line in discerning a bragger from a traveler. How do you know if someone just wants to share their experience? My guess is that we brag about our travels to justify some sort of meaning. If you have scaled Mt. Everest, are you really going to keep quiet about it? Perhaps you are so proud of an experience, you are bursting to share it. In that sense, I do not think it would be travel bragging. However, it becomes strange to me when sharing experiences becomes a contest. I have felt judgment for living in Italy for the summer. It is not third world. It is developed. The hardcore travelers seek out the raw, off the beaten path experience that apparently can’t be found in Italy. Raw, rare and reevaluating travel experiences can come anywhere. You don’t have to be camping in the Sahara to brag of a travel experience.
Experiences are rich no matter where you are. I realized this the minute I returned home. As I got caught up on missed TV shows and the new bedroom sets scattered about my familial home, suddenly it wasn’t about travel. While I would love to open my mouth and tell all that I have seen and heard, my experience is personal. Sure, there is interest at home, but life goes on everywhere, with or without your travel feats and failures. Bragging of them as if they are prized trophies isn’t really fair to my travels or my audience. I can’t put a value on travel. My trip to Portugal is intangible. My jaunt to Spain can’t be quantified. Perhaps that is why travel braggers exist, to keep quantifying an experience because pictures and journal entries do not cut it. We might want to show something for the money we have spent. There isn’t a shiny, new, wrapped up Switzerland experience sitting in the driveway you can actually display. All you can do is tell.
Take a picture. It will last longer and no one has to hear bragging.
I will keep grounded for the moment. Button my lip and keep quiet. I haven’t seen it all and although I may feel incredibly changed by travel, someone who has not traveled has had enriching experiences in the meantime, however small or large.
Have you found travel and bragging tends to go together? Why do you think travel bragging exists?
From Ahimsa:
This is a really well written post, and I can totally picture that guy. That said, it’s one of a recent mini-spate bemoaning the travel snobs of the world. Which is fine, but I’ve traveled a bit over the years and I rarely meet these people. Most of the travelers I meet are just excited about where they’ve been and more excited about where they are going.
From Amanda:
When you were talking about that guy in the airport pulling the whole, “Been there, done that,” thing, I immediately thought of my dad. He says that about everything. He doesn’t brag, though… just constantly brushes aside some pretty cool experiences.
But I do agree that travelers – especially those who have seen and done a lot – do tend to brag. I’m guilty of it myself sometimes, but I make a conscious effort to try to keep it to a minimum. I think a lot of times we just get excited, and carried away.
Sometimes, though, I think it’s the last point you made – about travel not really being tangible proof of anything in itself. We want to prove to people that we’ve seen the world and done something out of the ordinary with our time and money. Some of us just get a little carried away sometimes.
Travel is a luxury, even if you’re doing it on a budget. And, when it comes to any sort of luxury – jewelry, fast cars, fancy houses – people like to show it off. And, with travel, the easiest way to show it off is often to talk about it.
From Stephanie:
I agree that somethings missing if you think you’ve seen a country because you’ve made a tour around its most touristy cities. Is that fair to the country? To its people and culture? I thought travel was to open ones mind to the vast world that we live in – not narrow its possibilities.
From ayngelina:
When I first started my RTW I had a lot of patience for these people but now I avoid them like the plague. Oddly enough I often find it with people who dont travel much at all as those that do dont really seem to feel the need to bra about it.
From Jonathan Evans:
Nice post – travel bragging exists for the same reason any other bragging (technology, money, possessions in general) exist. The bragger has little else of interest to say and decides to turn a conversation (if it can be called that) into a competition that he/she will win. He or she will win it only because they make the rules and then declare themselves the winner in their head. It makes them feel better about themselves.
I completely agree with you that the best (only) way to deal with this is to keep it buttoned. At first you feel a bit peeved because, damnit, you’ve seen some pretty cool stuff too! After a few of these you realise that the other person doesn’t actually give a hoot what you have to say, they are just waiting for you to pause so they can fire their next achievement at you.
These are not conversations, they are monologues, and to compete you are reduced to the same level as they are. It’s much more satisfying to simply, keep quiet, nod and uh-uh and get the hell out of there as soon as you can so you can find somebody more interesting to talk to!
From Liv:
It’s a fine line, isn’t it? Travel is wonderful, travel makes you happy – shouldn’t you share it? At what point does it become less sharing and more full-on bragging? And what kind of people are the ones who brag – the ones who collect countries like postage stamps; like a game of bingo to cross off instead of experiences to be had?
From Abigail:
We all know this guy, I travel only in the states (300+ days a year) and I still have only see the tip of the iceberg. My travel prowess is often piffed off because I rarely leave the US.
From Jaime:
I know out of my friends I think I have traveled the most but I never think about bragging. When a conversation comes up we discuss it and if not then thats that. We should just keep it to our selves and continue traveling!
From Michael Hodson:
Agree 100%. And there are those kinds of travelers all over the place. Frankly, I get it mostly from the younger backpackers: “If you haven’t been to so-and-so, you really haven’t traveled.” And so forth.
I remember before I started my RTW trip, everyone at home was amazed that I was going to do it. A couple newspaper articles got written about it before I left. Swelled my head to no end. Then I got to about the third hostel on the trip. Someone asked me, “so what is your trip” and I proudly boasted about taking a year off to go all the way around the world and so forth. He very, very nicely (and not remotely in a bragging or annoying way) said something like, “very cool — I did that a few years ago. Decided this time to just do a year in Latin America, a bit slower.”
And I’ve tried to never brag about my travels since. Someone else has done what any of us are doing. And our trip is our trip — to be enjoyed by us, for us. Here’s hoping I’m never one of those that you overhear, or talk to directly, like this ass in Italy.
From Andrew:
I’ve seen more travel braggers than you. I was once in a group that didn’t stop talking about…. oh wait. Not the point is it?
There was a post on Traveling Savage a while back that had a quote about travel being a form of consumerism in that you are collecting. Collecting memories, or ticks on a list or countries; like a safari of bagging the most countries. Life can be kind of pointless sometimes, even with cool experiences. It is often those that feel the least worth that make up the games that let them score the most. Remember the Zabowskii kid in highschool who always wanted it to be reverse-alphabetical.
Meh, travel for yourself. Share the cool stuff with others who want to hear. And sincerely listen to those that humbly tell their story, encourage the good ones not the bad.
Hmm.. no other good cliches come to mind.
From Andy Hayes | Dream Travel Jobs:
It seems to be that most people like to brag in general – so it’s no surprise that when someone manages to have a travel experience of any kind, they can’t stop talking about it.
Anyway, I totally agree with you. There’s nothing like seeing a place first hand – so shut up already and start planning another trip.
From Jade:
I agree with you- although sometimes I start talking about traveling because I’m just so excited and want to share my experiences. I think you have to be aware of your audience- and will they want to share and contribute to the conversation. Some of my friends IRL could care less that I’ve traveled so much- so with those people I dont share as much. It’s definitely a give and take kind of thing!
Also- that guy at the airport was a douche.
From Ana O'Reilly:
Great post!
Although I agree with everything you wrote, but this grabbed my attention more than anything else: “I have felt judgment for living in Italy for the summer. It is not third world. It is developed. The hardcore travelers seek out the raw, off the beaten path experience that apparently can’t be found in Italy”. I can relate to it.
Also I think there is a lot of snobbery in the world of “travellers” and they tend to be judgmental and look down on those who do not care for feeding tigers in the jungle or swimming with anacondas in the Amazon.
All kinds of experiences are enriching alike.
From Candice:
I know exactly what you’re talking about, met a douchebag who did the same not too long ago. I said I was a travel blogger and he scoffed when I told him the low number of places I’ve been. I’d rather count experiences than countries, wouldn’t you? Arg.
From Jason:
Suzy,
Your airport experience is the perfect place to test out the latest REI product: the lightweight & gore-tex travel revolver with silencer. One sureptitious shot in the back of the head and BAM!…no more bragging.
Happy travels.
Jason (AlpacaSuitcase)
From Emily:
Great post, Suzy. Some people don’t take into consideration how much you learn about a culture or country. Travel shouldn’t be a race to tick off check marks if that means you don’t get to spend quality time in each place. My “countries visited” count isn’t enormous, but that’s because I have spent a lot of time going to all parts of Scotland, England, and Mexico. If I had only gone to each of those countries once and decided to go to a new country for every other trip, I would have more passport stamps. But I love that I have seen many cities in those countries and have a better feel for the culture and its regions. It’s easy to get caught up in the “I’ve been to X countries [or states], what about you?” thing. But you’re right–it really should be about quality, not quantity.
From Cam:
I’ve found that sometimes there is a fine line between bragging and sharing exciting experiences. I tend to get very excited when I tell my stories because its something I’m passionate about, others may not share that excitement and think its bragging. Totally not the intent, but could be perceived as such.
I think ultimately it depends on the audience and the motives of the traveler.
From Christy - Ordinary Traveler:
Maybe all those people who are talking smack about you visiting Europe over poorer countries are just jealous because you could actually afford to go to Europe! I know I am!
It is definitely obnoxious when people are just traveling in order to be able to say they have been to more countries than most people. Who cares! I think it’s all about the experience and what you learn from each place you visit.
From Jenny:
Yep. You always find those guys on the road. It’s more about how long you’ve been traveling, or how many countries you’ve been to than the experiences we all face. We all travel within our means and desires, whatever that means for each person. Sometimes that’s a 3-week vacation in Europe, 9-months in South East Asia, or a 3-year Around the world trip. We should just be happy that people are out there experiencing the world and doing what makes them happy in their own right.
I buy patches in each country I go to… and I want to put them on my backpack to remind me of all the places I’ve been. But at the same time, I don’t want people to think I’m “bragging.” Perhaps I should save them for a backpack I wear at home rather than on the road. I guess the road is my home now though.
From Laurence:
Great post. Travel really is a personal experience, and you get from it what you want to. Some folk want to see a lot of different cultures, others want to delve deeply into one particular aspect of a culture. There is no right or wrong way, just what works for you, based on your personal needs and desires (and budget!). Sharing experiences is always good, as we can all learn from each other, but no one way is better than others. It’s like life I guess. Live as makes you happy
From Gray:
I’m firmly in the camp with some of the others who have said people like this are braggarts, period. It doesn’t matter if it’s about travel, or the type of car they own, or how much money they make, or how many women they’ve slept with. It’s all about one-upsmanship. Lame. I avoid people like that.
From Candice:
Ugh, I’ve met many a travel snob with the same kind of attitude. Biggest pet peeve ever.
Great post.
From Candace:
how about the person who brags about all their trips and it’s paid for by their boss who is basically just lonely and needs a travel partner. How can you brag about freebies?